I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
