i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
