Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
