I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
