dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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