His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
