i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
