All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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