i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
