question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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