So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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