my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
