can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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