it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
