You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
