I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
