Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
