I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
