Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
