Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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