clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
