she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want her autograph on my taint
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
