Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
