so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
