the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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