It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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