tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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