what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
