so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
