Pregnant stripper...not hot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
