I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
