I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
