I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is classic penis vs brain.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to sanitize my soul.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
