i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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