yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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