Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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