Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
