This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
