Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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