i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
