is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
