Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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