marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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