to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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