He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
