Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need moral support for this bender
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
