thus making me awesome and them whores
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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