How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
