His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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