Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
