Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry jakepaj hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(206): View more from Washington

She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

(360): View more from Washington

At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

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(574): View more from Indiana

god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

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(917): View more from New York City

we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face

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(850): View more from Florida

Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.

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(151): View more from

I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.

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